If I had a kickstarter page for my chapbook it would read something like this (re-post)

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$10

those contributing this amount toward my chapbook, will receive exactly 5 likes on word press blog items of your choosing

$20

those contributing this amount, will receive exactly 5 likes on word press items of your choosing, plus annoying posts to my facebook friends about 5 of your twitter posts (again any 5 of your choosing)

$50

those contributing this amount, will receive exactly 5 likes on word press items of your choosing, annoying posts to my facebook friends concerning 5  of your twitter posts (again any 5 of your choosing), and a poem devoted entirely to you for the chapbook (If you are a perfect stranger and I know nothing about you whatsoever, I will just sleep with you and we’ll call it even)

$100

those contributing this amount, will receive exactly 5 likes on word press items of your choosing, annoying posts to my facebook friends concerning 5  of your twitter posts (again any 5 of your choosing), a poem devoted entirely to you for the chapbook (If you are a perfect stranger and I know nothing about you whatsoever, I will just sleep with you and we’ll call it even), and a lightly used cat bed my cat has stopped sleeping in ever since we brought home that really comfortable paper shopping bag from Safeway

$200

those contributing this amount, will receive exactly 5 likes on word press items of your choosing, annoying posts to my facebook friends concerning 5  of your twitter posts (again any 5 of your choosing), a poem devoted entirely to you for the chapbook (If you are a perfect stranger and I know nothing about you whatsoever, I will just sleep with you and we’ll call it even), a lightly used cat bed my cat has stopped sleeping in ever since we brought home that really comfortable paper shopping bag from Safeway and a poem in which every first letter of every word spells out your favorite ice cream flavor.

$400

those contributing this amount, will receive exactly 5 likes on word press items of your choosing, annoying posts to my facebook friends concerning 5  of your twitter posts (again any 5 of your choosing), a poem devoted entirely to you for the chapbook (If you are a perfect stranger and I know nothing about you whatsoever, I will just sleep with you and we’ll call it even), a lightly used cat bed my cat has stopped sleeping in ever since we brought home that really comfortable paper shopping bag from Safeway, a poem in which every first letter of every word spells out your favorite ice cream flavor, and exactly one appointment (emphasis on one) for me to come over and hold your cat still while you shave him

$500

for this much, you get everything I just said, plus…I will have a baby with my wife with the sole purpose of testing out that baby name you’ve always loved but weren’t so sure about since maybe it’ll get them beat up on the playground. I will report back with the results over a word press comment in exactly 9 years. Hey, you went the distance for me, It’s the least I can do. (side note here: if you are not currently married or your partner is no longer alive or if you just swore off love forever, I can just sleep with you again).

$1000

for $1000, you get everything I just said, plus…come on now that’s just crazy, it’s only a chapbook, after all.

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