Poems I wish I had written but sadly did not…Part 3

For the 3rd edition of this blog feature, I selected 5 poems for your reading pleasure. Some of them are funny, some are sweet, some are sad, some are clever, some are about oral hygiene, and all of them are “poems I wish I had written but sadly did not…”
1. The first is a poem I only discovered today on the blog Ole! Wailsome Emu. It’s written by a British writer, and it might well be the very best poem ever written about flossing. I loved every inch of it!
Oral Hygiene
Before you floss your teeth at night,
I taste your day in a close caress;
the second hand smoke of others, the bite
of the vowels from your early meeting, the cress
from your lunchtime sandwich, and the stale
breath of the dark, gaping tube tunnel.
You yawned through an inbox full of junk mail
at five, catching flickers of light from the screen.
I watch your reflection in the mirror
as you root out the debris, pick your woes
from the space so we can share a kiss cleaner
than after-storm rain,
                                away from the sunlit
hours that imprint on your mouth.
                                                  For a frank
exploration, you come to me deliciously blank.
2. This one’s from the blog, the great power. The poet is also a musician who often posts lyrical poems as well as the songs in which the poems appear. Wander over there when you can; you’ll be happy you did. 
our bestconversations are in our sleep
i was having a dream he said
you and i were walking in a city where we had never been
it’s still there somewhere
i’m going back to find it
then he pulled my whole body closer
as much of my skin as his could touch
and slipped away
3. “Palms” was one of the first poems I ever “liked” on wordpress, written a few months back, over at Jenni Kay Writes. It is a startling, lovely poem, isn’t it?
A clap in the night
And I have caught
A brown apple moth
In my bare hands
My palms can be a prison –
Anyone’s can.
–4. The fourth one, by You, With Your Words (a very fine writer as far as I can tell), made me laugh and sometimes that’s enough to get you a much sought-after shout out from this blog :).–#Sigh

Long day teaching kids,
Feeding cat, groceries.
Yeah –
I sit down in my chair.
The man chair
The man of the house chair.
‘Darling…can you do something?’
Do something?
‘Can you get me some cling film?’
The cling film’s right next to you.
‘Yes dear,’ I heave myself up.
Cling film sorted, I wander back to the chair.
Back to my poem.
My great poem.
‘Can you help me with something?’
What thing?
‘Can you mix this. It’s really stodgy.’
Mixing sorted, I wander back to the chair.
‘Babby, can you pass a cushion please?’
Mmmm. No.
‘Coming dear.’
Cushion sorted, I wander back to the chair.
In which the cat sits, smugly.
The cat chair.
The cat of the house chair.

5. This one over at the intriguingly named blog Close of Play is a clever rhymer about a peeping tom, written from the perspective of a neighbor who is doing a little peeping himself.

Mr. Larcombe’s Ladder

Mr Larcombe’s ladder
Is only six feet tall
I can’t bear its stupid frame
Smug against the wall

It can’t reach the gutters
Or get the windows clean
It is the most pointless thing
I think I’ve ever seen

It looks like it was made
By children of short sight
Or by dogs with gloves on
In the dark of the night

Bits of wood and plastic
With nails at every turn
Building pallet fragments
And logs that wouldn’t burn

Oh, here comes Larcombe now
I make my curtain twitch
He skips across the grass
Like Elvis with an itch

Picking up the ladder
Back past the garage door
Glancing for his wife now
What will he use it for?

I watch him move quickly
Down to his neighbours wall
Here its fit is perfect
The best ladder of all

Mr Larcombe climbs up
His grip as though he’s glued
To see his neighbour’s wife
Sunbathing in the nude.

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6 thoughts on “Poems I wish I had written but sadly did not…Part 3

  1. luca says:

    its a total honor to be included on this list!! made my day. thanks ian x

  2. Thank you for such lovely comments! Can’t believe I made it on a list with such great poems 😀

  3. Miranda Stone says:

    These are wonderful poems!

  4. What olewailsomeemu says…


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