Talking about recycling with my dad: a fiction

At my elementary school

we have 6 different trash cans

to toss away food into

one for hard plastics, another for soft plastics, a compost bin, and 3 more for stuff I can’t remember

my dad says “it’s a sign of the times”

green is in

recycling is in

reduce reuse recycle

when my science teacher can’t understand questions kids ask her

she always says back

“reduce reuse recycle”

and I have to admit, it’s pretty flipping funny

“Earth finally went and got itself a PR flack,”

says my dad

“well good for the earth

when I was a kid,

recycling was an optional activity

you were like oh I could spend 5 minutes sorting out these bottles and plastics

or I could just save the energy and brain power

it would require

and go set off a stink bomb or toss screwdrivers at the grass in front of your house

now everybody’s under the impression that recycling is more important than developing your hand eye coordination, I guess.”

At lunchtime they force this poor lady to sort out garbage tossed into the wrong bins

and I’m not even sure she knows what she’s doing

like the other day

she told me

that the paper napkins should be tossed into the compost bin?

Thats just sounds wrong to me

but whatever

she has a shirt that says “Green Patrol”

so she’s clearly an authority

she’s a nice lady though

probably not gonna shake her hand anytime soon though

so in conclusion

recycling: it’s annoying

but if you like being a human

and dislike dying of toxic gasses

and strange hues in your water


it’s probably worth the effort.

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6 thoughts on “Talking about recycling with my dad: a fiction

  1. Biochicklet says:

    recycling is my informal hobby
    it annoys everyone watching me
    go through the trashcans
    Green Guilt

    • well if everyone thought like you, we’d be in better shape and we would be able to avoid the impending rebellion from the rest of the animal kingdom. miserable SOBs, you just know they’re planning something

  2. Brieuse Bernhard Piers-Gûdmönd says:

    I just finished writing tomorrow’s story about trash for my blog and you posted this! We have ESP! Interesting posting btw!

  3. I love that! I look forward to it

  4. Miranda Stone says:

    I had to laugh at the Green Patrol lady. Poor woman. But you have a very funny story here with a good message to boot!

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