Racing Mike to the Dairy section

When I go to the grocery, I spend a few minutes in the adjoining Starbucks

making fun of corporate culture

with the help of the baristas. 

“Is there anything else I can get you?”

someone will ask when they’re done pouring my small coffee

“you could read a few pages of my hardcover as I wait for my 

coffee to cool down”

or somedays I ask someone to balance a spoon on his/her nose 

I have asked them to change a tire

recite me Pablo Nerudo poetry

sing me a favorite song

have a staring contest

these requests often go unmet

but once in a while the staff will humor me

on slow days, no doubt

often the grocery store patrons wander over to see what’s going on

like when I told a pale, skinny high school-aged barista named Mike to race me to the milk section of the grocery

corporate nearly fired someone over that

but I talked them out of it

I remember that one clearly

the milk felt a mile away

I took the route I thought fastest

but Mike knew the store like the back of his hand

people had their cameras out 

in the end, Mike won

when it was over he put his apron back on and returned behind the counter to fetch someone an espresso with extra foam


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One thought on “Racing Mike to the Dairy section

  1. Bruce Goodman says:


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